3.08 A Very Supernatural Christmas (transcript)

SUPERNATURAL

3.08 A Very Supernatural Christmas

Written by: Jeremy Carver

Directed by: J. Miller Tobin

Air Date: 13 Dec 2007

TEASER

The word “SPECIAL” in large glowing letters rotates and becomes “A SPECIAL PRESENTATION”.

"Twelve Days of Christmas" (instrumental) plays

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON: ONE YEAR AGO

INT. HOUSE – CHRISTMAS NIGHT

The living room is decorated for Christmas. The doorbell rings and a boy opens the door.

STEVIE: Merry Christmas, Grandpa.

GRANDPA: Oh ho ho, Merry Christmas to you too, Stevie. (Hugs his grandson tight and comes inside)

STEVIE: Did you bring me any presents?

GRANDPA: Now, why would I want to do that?

STEVIE: ’Cause it’s Christmas.

GRANDPA: Oh! I thought Santa Claus brought the presents at Christmas. You have been a good boy this year, haven’t you?

STEVIE: I have, I swear.

GRANDPA: Well, then, who knows? Maybe he’ll come.

CUT TO:

GRANDPA is dressing as SANTA next to the Christmas tree. He puts on a fake beard and Santa’s hat and jingles some bells. STEVIE walks part of the way down the stairs and watches SANTA/GRANDPA take presents out of a big red bag.

STEVIE: Santa! (whispered)

SANTA/GRANDPA is still taking presents from his bag when suddenly thumping sounds come from the roof.

STEVIE: Reindeer! (whispered)

SANTA/GRANDPA looks confused, but returns his attention to his bag. More sounds are heard, like someone is walking on the roof. SANTA/GRANDPA looks up, but the sounds stop again. Ash falls from the chimney into the fireplace. SANTA/GRANDPA investigates while STEVIE watches from the staircase. Suddenly hands grab SANTA/GRANDPA and pull him up the chimney. SANTA/GRANDPA screams.

STEVIE: Santa?

One of SANTA/GRANDPA’s boots falls from the chimney, with bloodstains on it.

A Christmas ornament explodes before a special title card appears.

A VERY SUPERNATURAL CHRISTMAS (Title Card)

ACT ONE

YPSILANTI, MICHIGAN: PRESENT DAY

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

A girl is looking outside through the glass door and a woman stands outside, being interviewed.

WOMAN: Um, my daughter and I were in our beds. Mike was downstairs decorating the tree. I heard a thump on the roof and then I heard Mike scream. And now I’m talking to the FBI.

DEAN: And you didn't see any of it?

WOMAN: No, he was… he was just gone.

DEAN: The doors were locked? There was no forced entry?

WOMAN: That’s right.

DEAN: Does anybody else have a key?

WOMAN: My parents.

DEAN: Where do they live?

WOMAN: Florida.

SAM walks out of the house.

SAM: Thanks for letting me have a look around, Mrs. Walsh. I think we, uh, got just about everything we need. We’re all set.

DEAN: We’ll be in touch.

MRS. WALSH nods. DEAN and SAM walk down the steps.

MRS. WALSH: Agents…

DEAN and SAM turn around.

MRS. WALSH: The police said my husband might have been kidnapped.

DEAN: Could be.

MRS. WALSH: Then why haven’t the kidnappers called? O-or – or demanded a ransom? It’s three days till Christmas. What am I supposed to tell our daughter?

SAM: We’re very sorry.

SAM and DEAN walk away and MRS WALSH turns to go inside.

DEAN: Find anything?

SAM: (Sighs) Stocking, mistletoe… this. (Gives DEAN something out of his pocket)

DEAN: A tooth? Where was this? (Examines the tooth)

SAM: In the chimney.

DEAN: Chimney? No way a man fits up a chimney. It’s too narrow.

SAM: No way he fits up in one piece.

DEAN: Alright, so, if dad went up the chimney—

SAM: We need to find out what dragged him up there.

INT. MOTEL – DAY

Pictures of demons are pinned up on the wall. SAM is searching the Internet for information about demons. The door opens and DEAN walks inside, carrying a brown paper bag.

DEAN: So, was I right? Is it the serial-killing chimney sweep?

SAM: Yep. It's, uh, it’s actually Dick Van Dyke.

DEAN: Who?

SAM: :Mary Poppins"?

DEAN: Who’s that?

SAM: Oh come on— never mind. (Waves his hand)

DEAN: Well, it turns out that Walsh is the second guy in town grabbed out of his house this month.

SAM: Oh yeah?

DEAN: Yeah.

SAM: The other guy get dragged up the chimney, too?

DEAN: Don’t know. Witnesses said they heard a thump on the roof. (He shrugs, SAM also shrugs) So, what the hell do you think we're dealing with?

SAM: Actually, I have an idea.

DEAN: Yeah?

SAM: Uh, it's gonna sound crazy.

DEAN: What could you possibly say that sounds crazy to me?

SAM: Um… evil Santa. (Smiles)

DEAN: (Pauses and then nods) Yeah, that’s crazy.

SAM: Yeah… I mean, I’m just saying that there’s some version of the anti-Claus in every culture. (Shows DEAN some evil Santa pictures) You got Belsnickel, Krampus, Black Peter. (DEAN takes the pictures from SAM) Whatever you want to call it, there’s all sorts of lore.

DEAN: Saying what?

SAM: Saying ... back in the day, Santa’s brother went rogue and now he shows up around Christmas time, but instead of bringing presents, he punishes the wicked.

DEAN: By hauling their ass up chimneys?

SAM: For starters, yeah.

DEAN: So, this is your theory, huh? Santa’s shady brother?

SAM: Well, ah –  I’m just saying, that’s what the lore says.

DEAN: Santa doesn’t have a brother. There is no Santa.

SAM: Yeah, I know. You’re the one who told me that in the first place, remember. (Looks at DEAN, who looks down, maybe feeling a little guilty. SAM turns back to his computer and sighs) Yeah, you know what, I could be wrong. I ... (sighs again, shutting his laptop) gotta be wrong.

DEAN: Maybe, maybe not.

SAM: What?

DEAN: I did a little digging. Turns out both victims visited the same place before they got snatched.

SAM: Where?

EXT. SANTA’S VILLAGE – DAY

Christmas music plays, children are playing, and people wearing Christmas costumes are walking.

DEAN: It does kind of lend credence to the theory, don’t it?

SAM: Yeah, but anti-Claus? Couldn’t be.

DEAN: It’s a Christmas miracle. Hey, speaking of, we should have one this year.

SAM: Have one what?

DEAN: A Christmas.

SAM: (Scoffs) No, thanks.

DEAN: No, we’ll get a tree, a little Boston market, just like when we were little.

SAM: Dean, those weren’t exactly Hallmark memories for me, you know.

DEAN: What are you talking about? We had some great Christmases.

SAM: Whose childhood are you talking about?

DEAN: Oh, come on, Sam.

SAM: No! Just… no.

DEAN: (Surprised) All right, Grinch.

DEAN walks away, while SAM stands still. Suddenly he notices a reindeer’s statue is staring at him. SAM looks uncomfortable.

FLASHBACK: BROKEN BOW, NEBRASKA. CHRISTMAS EVE, 1991

INT. MOTEL – NIGHT

Reindeers pull Santa’s sleigh across the sky on the TV, which is playing “A Year Without Santa Claus”. SAM (8 1/2yo) is wrapping something with newspaper.

DEAN (12, almost 13yo): What is that?

SAM: A present for Dad.

DEAN: Yeah, right. Where’d you get the money? Steal it?

SAM: No. Uncle Bobby gave it to me to give to him. Said it was real special.

DEAN: What is it?

SAM (sarcastically): A pony.

DEAN: (Scoffs) Very funny.

SAM continues to wrap the present. DEAN sits on the couch next to him and picks up a magazine.

SAM: Dad’s gonna be here, right?

DEAN: He’ll be here.

SAM: It’s Christmas.

DEAN: He knows and he’ll be here. Promise.

SAM: Where is he anyway?

DEAN: On business.

SAM: What kind of business?

DEAN: You know that. He sells stuff.

SAM: What kind of stuff?

DEAN: Stuff.

SAM: Nobody ever tells me anything.

DEAN: (Rolls his eyes) Then quit asking.

DEAN leaves SAM and walks to the bed. He shoves garbage and food-wrappers off of it and opens the magazine.

SAM: Is Dad a spy?

DEAN: Mm-hmm. He’s James Bond.

SAM: Why do we move around so much?

DEAN: ’Cause everywhere we go, they get sick of your face.

SAM: I’m old enough, Dean. You can tell me the truth.

DEAN: You don’t wanna know the truth. Believe me.

SAM: Is that why we never talk about… Mom?

DEAN: (Tosses the magazine away angrily and stands up) Shut up! Don’t you ever talk about Mom. Ever! (Heads for the door)

SAM: Wait, where are you going?

DEAN: Out.

DEAN shuts the door behind him and leaves SAM alone.

The flashback ends.

EXT. SANTA’S VILLAGE – DAY

SAM is still lost in memories.

DEAN: You’d think with the 10 bucks it costs to get into this place, Santa could scrounge up a little snow.

SAM: (Awakening from his daydreaming) What?

DEAN: Nothing. What are we looking for, again?

SAM: Um… (Looks around) lore says that the anti-Claus will walk with a limp and smell like sweets.

DEAN: Great. So we’re looking for a pimp Santa. Why the sweets?

SAM: Think about it, Dean. If you smell like candy, the kids will come closer, you know?

DEAN: That’s creepy. (SAM chuckles) How does this thing know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice?

SAM: I don’t know.

A man wearing a Santa Claus costume sits outside a small barn. A woman and boy walk up to him.

SANTA: So, Ronny, come sit on Santa’s knee. (The boy sits) Ah, there you go. You been a good boy this year?

BOY: Yeah.

SANTA: Good. Santa’s got a special gift for you. (cackles creepily)

DEAN: (Looks at Santa and the boy speculatively) Maybe we do.

RONNY’s mother takes his arm and leads him away from the Santa.

RONNY’S MOTHER: Come on, honey, let’s go.

A woman in an elf costume walks up to SAM and DEAN.

ELFIN: Welcome to Santa’s court. Can I escort your child to Santa?

SAM: Uh…

DEAN: No. No. Uh, but actually my brother here (smacks SAM on the shoulder) … it's been a lifelong dream of his.

ELFIN: (Looks at SAM like he’s a freak) Uh, sorry. No kids over… 12.

SAM: No, he’s just kidding. We only came here to watch.

ELFIN looks at DEAN, who shakes his head. ELFIN backs off.

ELFIN: Eww.

SAM: I-I didn’t mean that we came here to w— Y— (DEAN looks at SAM) Thanks a lot, Dean. Thanks for that.

DEAN: (Laughs and suddenly turns serious) Check it out.

SAM and DEAN watch the SANTA leave his chair. SANTA walks with bad limp.

DEAN: Are you seeing this?

SAM: A lot of people walk with limps, right?

DEAN: Tell me you didn’t smell that. That was candy, man.

SAM: That was Ripple. I think. Had to be. (He looks at Santa again.)

DEAN: Maybe. We’re willing to take that chance?

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Inside the IMPALA, SAM and DEAN are spying on a simple house that is decorated with Christmas lights.

DEAN: What time is it?

SAM: Same as the last time you asked. Here… (Hands DEAN a thermos) Caffeinate.

DEAN takes the thermos from SAM and tries to pours coffee into the cup, but the thermos is empty.

DEAN: Wonderful. (Suddenly he scoffs) Hey, Sam.

SAM: Yeah?

DEAN: Why are you the boy that hates Christmas?

SAM: Dean ...

DEAN: I mean, I admit it. You know, we had a few bumpy holidays when we were kids.

SAM: “Bumpy”?

DEAN: That was then. We’ll do it right this year.

SAM: Look, Dean. If you want to have Christmas, knock yourself out. Just don’t involve me.

DEAN: (Looks at SAM in disbelief) Oh, yeah, that’d be great. Me and myself making cranberry molds.

They return to watching the house. SANTA, still in his red cap, but in a green tank top, looks outside, then closes his curtains.

DEAN: What’s up with Saint Nicotine?

WOMAN’S VOICE: Oh, my God!

SAM and DEAN jump out of the car and run to the house with their guns drawn. DEAN looks inside the window of the front door.

SAM: Huh.

DEAN: What?

SAM: Nothing. It’s just that, uh… well, you know, Mr. Gung Ho Christmas might have to blow away Santa.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

DEAN opens the door. SANTA is sitting on the couch, holding a giant bong and a bottle of whiskey. SANTA stands up and DEAN and SAM quickly hide their guns.

SANTA: What the hell are you doing here?

DEAN looks around and realizes SANTA’s only watching TV.

MAN ON TV: I’m really not interested, okay?

WOMAN ON TV: Mistle my toe. Roast my chestnut. Egg my nog.

DEAN looks at SAM, who shrugs.

SAM: Ah, w—

WOMAN ON TV: Jingle my bells?

DEAN: (Starts to sing – badly) S-silent night… Holy… (He looks at SAM, who follows him, shrugging, and smiling)

DEAN & SAM: …night. (SANTA chuckles and sits down to enjoy the show) All is well…

SANTA: (Also singing along) …all is dry.

SAM: Bright…

DEAN & SAM & SANTA: Round and round… (They try to sing although they don't remember the lyrics.)

SAM: The table… (Puts a hand on DEAN’s shoulder to pull him away)

EXT. LARGE HOUSE – NIGHT

INT. LARGE HOUSE – NIGHT

“Silent Night” plays as a boy walks down the staircase to a room in which there is a large Christmas tree. Ashes fall into the fireplace from the chimney. The boy stands in front of the fireplace.

BOY: Santa, you’re early.

The boy jumps back as the fireplace grill falls in front of him. He stares in shock as a heavy-breathing, human-shaped creature walks through the living room, goes upstairs and enters the parents’ room. A woman screams and a man makes muffled sounds. The creature drags a bag containing the struggling man downstairs. There is a loud thump and the sound of flesh tearing as the creature kills the man in front of the boy. The creature stares down at the boy, then grabs a cookie from a plate and eats it while he drags the bag away from the boy.

ACT TWO

CALDWELL HOME

EXT. LARGE HOUSE – DAY

INT. LARGE HOUSE – DAY

DEAN: So, that’s how your son described the attack? “Santa took daddy up the chimney”?

WOMAN (who has a bruise on one eye): That’s what he says, yes.

DEAN: And where were you?

WOMAN: I was asleep and all of a sudden (sniffs) … I was being dragged out of bed, screaming.

SAM: Did you see the attacker?

WOMAN: (Shakes her head) It was dark, and he hit me. He knocked me out.

DEAN: (Nods) I’m sorry. I know this is hard.

SAM: Yeah… um, Mrs. Caldwell, where, where did you get that wreath above the fireplace? (DEAN looks around at the wreath, and blinks, a little puzzled.)

MRS CALDWELL: Excuse me?

DEAN looks at SAM, waiting for an answer.

SAM (shrugging, smiling, feeling embarrassed): Just curious, you know.

EXT. LARGE HOUSE – DAY

DEAN: Wreaths, huh? Sure you didn’t want to ask her about her shoes? I saw some nice handbags in the foyer.

SAM: We’ve seen that wreath before, Dean.

DEAN: Where?

SAM: The Walshes’. Yesterday.

DEAN: I know. I was just testing you.

SAM scoffs.

They drive away in the IMPALA.

INT. MOTEL – DAY

SAM is on the phone.

SAM: Yeah, all right. Well, keep looking, would you? Thanks, Bobby. (He hangs up) Well… we’re not dealing with the anti-Claus.

DEAN: What did Bobby say?

SAM: Uh, that we're morons. He also said that it was probably meadowsweet in those wreaths. (Looks at his laptop.)

DEAN: Wow! Amazing. What the hell is meadowsweet?

SAM: It’s pretty rare and it’s probably the most powerful plant in pagan lore.

DEAN: Pagan lore?

SAM: Yeah. See, they used meadowsweet for human sacrifice. It was kind of like a… Chum for their gods. Gods were drawn to it and they’d stop by and snack on whatever was the nearest human.

DEAN: Why would somebody be using that for Christmas wreaths?

SAM: It's not as crazy as it sounds, Dean. I mean, pretty much every Christmas tradition is pagan.

DEAN: Christmas is Jesus’s birthday.

SAM: No, Jesus’s birthday was probably in the fall. It was actually the winter solstice festival that was co-opted by the Church and renamed “Christmas”. But I mean, the Yule log, the tree, even Santa’s red suit – that’s all remnants of pagan worship.

DEAN: How do you know that? What are you gonna tell me next? Easter bunny’s Jewish? (SAM says nothing) So you think we’re gonna dealing with a pagan God?

SAM: Yeah, probably Hold Nickar, God of the winter solstice.

DEAN: And all these Martha Stewart wannabes, buying these fancy wreaths…

SAM: Yeah, it’s pretty much like putting a neon sign on your front door saying “Come kill us”.

DEAN: Great.

SAM: (Reading an article on the laptop) Huh… When you sacrifice to Hold Nickar, guess what he gives you in return.

DEAN: Lap dances, hopefully.

SAM: Mild weather.

DEAN: (Looks out the window) Like no snow in the middle of December in the middle of Michigan.

SAM: For instance.

DEAN: Do we know how to kill it yet?

SAM: No, Bobby’s working on that right now. We got to figure out where they’re selling those wreaths.

DEAN: You think they’re selling them on purpose? Feeding the victims to this thing?

SAM: (exhales) Let’s find out.

INT. CHRISTMAS SHOP – DAY

SAM and DEAN enter. ("Deck the halls with boughs of holly" is playing)

SHOPKEEPER: Help you, boys?

DEAN: Uh, hope so. Uh, we were playing Jenga over at the Walshes’ the other night, and, uh… well, he hasn’t shut up since about this Christmas wreath, and (to SAM) I don’t know, you tell him.

SAM: (Giving DEAN a look) Sure. (turns back to the shopkeeper) It was yummy.

SHOPKEEPER: I sell a lot of wreaths, guys.

SAM: Right, right, but – but you see, this one would have been really special. It had, uh, it had, uh, green leaves, um, white buds on it. It might have been made of, uh… meadowsweet?

SHOPKEEPER: Well, aren’t you a fussy one?

SAM looks taken aback, embarrassed.

DEAN: (Smiles) He is… (He laughs and SAM looks at him, annoyed)

SHOPKEEPER: Anyway, I know the one you’re talking about. I’m all out.

DEAN: Huh. Seems like this meadowsweet stuff’s pretty rare and expensive. Why make wreaths out of it?

SHOPKEEPER: Beats me. I didn't make them.

DEAN: Who did?

SHOPKEEPER: Madge Carrigan, a local lady. She said the wreaths were so special, she gave them to me for free.

SAM: She didn’t charge you?

SHOPKEEPER: Nope.

DEAN: Did you sell them for free?

SHOPKEEPER: Hell no. It’s Christmas. People pay a buttload for this crap.

DEAN: That’s the spirit.

INT. MOTEL – NIGHT

DEAN opens the door and turns on the light. SAM follows him in.

DEAN: How much do you think a meadowsweet wreath would cost?

SAM: A couple hundred dollars, at least.

DEAN: This lady’s giving them away for free? What do you think about that?

SAM: Well, sounds pretty suspicious.

DEAN and SAM take off their jackets and sit on the edge of their beds.

DEAN: Remember that wreath Dad brought home that one year?

SAM: You mean the one he stole from, like, a liquor store?

DEAN: Yeah, it was a bunch of empty beer cans. That thing was great. I bet if I looked around hard enough, I could probably find one just like it.

SAM: All right. Dude… What’s going on with you?

DEAN: What?

SAM: I mean, since when are you Bing Crosby all of a sudden? Why do you want Christmas so bad?

DEAN: Why are you so against it? I mean, were your childhood memories that traumatic?

SAM: No, that has nothing to do with it.

DEAN: Then what?

SAM: I-I mean, I-I just… I don’t get it. You haven’t talked about Christmas in years.

DEAN: Well, yeah. This is my last year.

SAM: (Pause, small sigh) I know. That’s why I can’t.

DEAN: What do you mean?

SAM: I mean I can’t just sit around, drinking eggnog, pretending everything’s okay, when I know next Christmas you’ll be dead.
(DEAN nods)
I just can’t.

DEAN nods, realizing the sadness in SAM’s voice. Both of them are silent.

FLASHBACK, 1991

INT. MOTEL – NIGHT

SAM is on the couch reading a comic book. DEAN walks inside the room, holding a bag of groceries.

SAM: Thought you went out.

DEAN: Yeah, to get you dinner. (Tosses SAM packaged food) Don’t forget your vegetables. (Tosses him another bag of snack food, Funyuns)

DEAN takes off his jacket, sits down on his bed and opens a drink can. SAM sits on the other bed.

SAM: I know why you keep a gun under your pillow.

DEAN: (Lifts his pillow and sees his gun) No, you don’t. Stay out of my stuff.

SAM: And I know why we lay salt down everywhere we go.

DEAN: No, you don’t. Shut up.

SAM turns around and grabs something under his bed. It’s JOHN’s diary. SAM tosses it onto the nightstand between the beds.

DEAN: (Stands up) Where’d you get that? That’s Dad’s! He’s gonna kick your ass for reading that.

SAM: Are monsters real?

DEAN: What? You’re crazy.

SAM: Tell me.

DEAN: (Looks away, hesitates) I swear, if you ever tell Dad I told you any of this, I will end you.

SAM: Promise.

DEAN: (Sits and looks at JOHN’s diary) Well, the first thing you have to know is we have the coolest dad in the world. He’s a superhero.

SAM: He is?

DEAN: Yeah. Monsters are real. Dad fights them. He’s fighting them right now.

SAM: But Dad said the monsters under my bed weren’t real.

DEAN: That’s ’cause he had already checked under there. But yeah, they’re real. Almost everything’s real.

SAM: Is Santa real?

DEAN: (Smiles, shakes his head) No.

SAM: (Pauses, looks sad) If monsters are real, then they could get us. They could get me.

DEAN: Dad’s not gonna let them get you.

SAM: But what if they get him?

DEAN: They aren’t gonna get Dad. Dad’s, like, the best.

SAM: I read in Dad’s book that they got Mom.

DEAN: (Exhales) It’s complicated, Sam.

SAM: If they got Mom, they can get Dad ,and if they get Dad, they can get us.

DEAN: It’s not like that. (Moves and sits next to SAM) Okay? Dad’s fine. We’re fine. Trust me. (SAM looks sad and worried.) You okay?

SAM: Yeah. (Looks away)

DEAN: Hey, Dad’s gonna be here for Christmas. Just like he always is.

SAM: (Holds back tears) I just want to go to sleep, okay?

DEAN: Yeah, okay.

SAM lies down on the bed and cries quietly. DEAN stays sitting on the edge of the bed.

DEAN: It’ll all be better when you wake up. (SAM cries harder.) You’ll see. Promise.

ACT THREE

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

SAM and DEAN walk up to a big white house with Christmas decorations on the lawn.

DEAN: This is where Mrs. Wreath lives, huh? Can’t you just feel the evil pagan vibe?

DEAN knocks on the door and MADGE greets them.

MADGE: Yes?

DEAN: Please tell me you’re the Madge Carrigan who makes the meadowsweet wreaths.

MADGE: Why, yes I am.

DEAN (turns to SAM with a smile): Ha! Bingo.

SAM: Yeah? Uh, well, we were just admiring your wreaths in Mr. Sylar’s place the other day?

MADGE: You were? Well, isn't that meadowsweet just the finest-smelling thing you ever smelled?

SAM: It is, it sure is. But the problem is, is that all you wreaths had sold out before we got the chance to buy one.

MADGE: Oh, fudge!

DEAN: You wouldn’t have another one that we could buy from you, would you?

MADGE: Oh, no, I’m afraid those were the only ones I had for this season.

SAM: Aww…

DEAN: Tell me something, why did you decide to make them out of meadowsweet?

MR. CARRIGAN comes down the staircase inside the house. He has an old-fashioned pipe and a cardigan. The two of them together are very 1950s.

MADGE: Why, the smell, of course! I don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything finer.

SAM: Yeah… um, you mentioned that.

MR. CARRIGAN: What's going on, honey?

MADGE: Well, just some nice boys asking about my wreaths, dear.

MR. CARRIGAN: Oh, the wreaths are fine. Fine wreaths. Oh, care for some peanut brittle? (He offers them peanut brittle)

DEAN reaches out to take some, but SAM slaps DEAN’s arm away.

SAM: We’re okay.

EXT. MOTEL – NIGHT

DEAN is sharpening a wooden stake, while SAM uses the laptop. Five other wooden stakes are on the bed and floor near DEAN.

SAM: (Claps his hands) I knew it! Something was way off with those two.

DEAN: What’d you find?

SAM: The Carrigans lived in Seattle, last year, where two abductions took place right around Christmas. They moved here in January. All that Christmas crap in their house – that wasn’t boughs of holly. It was vervain and mint.

DEAN: Pagan stuff?

SAM: Serious pagan stuff.

DEAN: So what, Ozzie and Harriet are keeping a pagan god hidden underneath their plastic-covered couch?

SAM: I don’t know. All I know is we gotta check them out. So, what about Bobby? He’s sure evergreen stakes will kill this thing, right?

DEAN: (Looks at the stake) Yeah, he’s sure.

EXT. CARRIGAN HOUSE – NIGHT

SAM and DEAN walk toward the house. Christmas music is playing ("O Come All Ye Faithful") DEAN picks the lock.

INT. CARRIGAN HOUSE – NIGHT

SAM and DEAN each hold a wooden stake.

DEAN: (Looks at the couch that still covered with plastic, whispers) See? Plastic. (SAM touches it too as DEAN shakes his head disapprovingly.)

DEAN goes into the living room and looks at all the Christmas decor, while SAM goes to the hall, which is also decorated with ornaments and snow globes. SAM goes into the kitchen and sees plates of cookies and cakes. He shines his flashlight on the lock of a door.

SAM: Hey, Dean.

CUT TO:

DEAN and SAM walk downstairs to the basement. DEAN points his flashlight and finds bones covered with blood in a large bowl. They check the room and realize the whole basement looks like a butchery room rather than a storage room. SAM finds a leather bag covered with blood. He looks disgusted and moves to another spot. SAM pokes a bag that is hanging from the wall and the bag moves – someone inside is struggling. MADGE grabs SAM’s neck from behind and lifts him off the ground as he yells in surprise.

DEAN hears him and comes running.

DEAN: Sam!

MADGE pushes SAM against a wall and holds him by the throat. DEAN runs to him and tries to stake MADGE, but MR. CARRIGAN grabs his arm and knocks his head against a wall. DEAN falls to the ground, unconscious. MADGE looks at her husband, who smiles and nods and looks back at SAM, who is struggling to breathe.

MADGE: Gosh, I wish you boys hadn’t come down here.

SAM movies his flashlight to the CARRIGANS’ faces, which appear monster-like when in the beam of the flashlight but turn back to normal out of the light. MADGE slams SAM's head hard against the wall and lets him drop to the ground.

ACT FOUR

EXT. CARRIGAN HOUSE – NIGHT

The Christmas decorations on the lawn are lit up with lights and Christmas music plays.

INT. CARRIGAN HOUSE – NIGHT

A number of bowls and a knife are set out on the kitchen table. SAM and DEAN are tied up in chairs, back to back.

SAM: Dean? You okay?

DEAN: Yeah, I think so.

SAM: (Sighs) So, I guess we’re dealing with Mr. and Mrs. God. (DEAN nods) Nice to know.

DEAN: Yeah.

The CARRIGANS come into the kitchen, dressed in colorful Christmas- themed sweaters.

MADGE: Ooh, and here we thought you two lazybones were gonna sleep straight through all the fun stuff. (Giggles)

DEAN: Miss all this? Nah, we’re partiers.

MR CARRIGAN: (Smokes his pipe) Isn’t he a kick in the pants, honey? You’re hunters, is what you are.

DEAN: And you’re pagan gods. So, why don't we just call it even, and go our separate ways?

MR CARRIGAN: What, so you can bring more hunters and kill us? (Laughs) I don’t think so.

SAM: Maybe you should have thought about that before you went snacking on humans, now, huh?

MR CARRIGAN: Oh now, don’t get all wet.

MADGE: Oh, why, we used to take over a hundred tributes a year and that’s a fact. (Put a napkin on DEAN’s lap). Now what do we take? What, two? Three? (And put another napkin on SAM’s lap)

MR CARRIGAN: Hardy Boys here make five.

MADGE: Now, that’s not so bad, is it?

DEAN: Well, you say it like that – I guess you guys are the Cunninghams.

MR CARRIGAN: You, mister, better show us a little respect.

SAM: Or what? You’ll eat us?

MR CARRIGAN: Not so fast. (Looks at MADGE who looks excited) There’s rituals to be followed first.

MADGE: Oh, we’re just sticklers for ritual.

MR CARRIGAN: And you know what kicks off the whole shebang? (MADGE smiles)

DEAN: Let me guess… meadowsweet.

MADGE: Oh!

DEAN: Oh shucks, you’re all out of wreaths. I guess we’ll just have to cancel the sacrifice, huh?

MADGE: Oh, don’t be such a gloomy Gus. (Put wreaths around DEAN’s and SAM’s necks) There. Ohh… Don’t they just look darling?

MR CARRIGAN: Good enough to eat. (Smacks his lips) All righty-roo. (whips out a knife with a shhing) Step number two.

MR CARRIGAN walks to SAM carrying a knife and a bowl. He holds the bowl under SAM’s arm and prepares to cut him with the knife.

DEAN: Sammy?! Sammy?!

MR CARRIGAN slices SAM’s arm and collects his blood in the bowl.

SAM: D-Don’t! (Screams)

DEAN: Leave him alone, you son of a bitch!

MR CARRIGAN: Hear how they talk to us? Heh heh. To Gods? (MADGE takes the knife and bowl) Listen, pal, back in the day, we were worshiped by millions.

DEAN: Time have changed!

MR CARRIGAN: Tell me about it. All of a sudden, this Jesus character is the hot new thing in town. All of a sudden, our – our altars are being burned down, and we’re being hunted down like common monsters.

MADGE: But did we say a peep? Oh ho ho, no, no, no, we did not. (MR CARRIGAN adds something to SAM’s blood in the bowl) Two millennium. (MR CARRIGAN picks up a tool) We kept a low profile; we got jobs, a mortgage. Wh-What was that word, dear?

MR CARRIGAN: We assimilated.

MADGE: Yeah, we assimilated. Why, we play bridge on Tuesday and Fridays. (Holding a large knife) We’re just like everybody else.

DEAN: You’re not blending in as smooth as you think, lady.

MADGE: This might pinch a bit, dear.

MADGE comes closer to DEAN and slices his arm just like MR CARRIGAN did to SAM.

DEAN: (Screams) You bitch!

MADGE: Oh, my goodness me! Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. Oh, do you know what I say when I feel like swearing? (DEAN looks MADGE in the eyes, as she gestures with her sharp knife in cheesy emphasis) “Fudge.”

DEAN: (panting) I’ll try and remember that!

MR CARRIGAN (picks up a pair of pliers): You boys have no idea how lucky you are. There was a time when kids came from miles around, just to be sitting where you are. (He stands in front of SAM with the tool)

SAM: (Panicked) What do you think you’re doing with those?

MR CARRIGAN smiles.

DEAN: (Looks at MADGE) You fudging touch me again and I’ll fudging kill you!

MADGE: Very good!

MADGE slices DEAN’s other arm and he groans in pain, while MR CARRIGAN grabs SAM’s hand.

SAM: No. No. Don’t.

MR CARRIGAN pulls the nail of SAM’s index finger and SAM screams.

MR CARRIGAN: (Holds up the nail) Oh, we got a winner!

The CARRIGANS put all the ingredients in the bowl and stir them.

MADGE: What else, dear?

MR CARRIGAN: Well, let’s see. Uh, fingernail, blood. Oh… (Hit his own head) sweet Peter on a popsicle stick… (laughs) I forgot the tooth.

MADGE: Oh, dear!

DEAN: (breathing hard) Merry Christmas, Sam. (SAM groans)

MR CARRIGAN picks up pliers and grabs DEAN’s chin.

MR CARRIGAN: Open wide… and say, “Aaah.”

MR CARRIGAN puts the pliers into DEAN’s mouth and DEAN groans. The doorbell rings.

DEAN: (With the pliers in his mouth) Somebody gonna get that? (MADGE and MR CARRIGAN look each other. SAM looks relieved) You should get that.

MR CARRIGAN: (Rolls his eyes and sighs) Come on.

DEAN sighs in relief and runs his tongue around his teeth.

CUT TO:

The CARRIGANS open the front door. A NEIGHBOR wearing a green reindeer sweater rings a bell and holds out a fruitcake.

NEIGHBOR: Merry Christmas! (Gives MADGE fruitcake)

MR CARRIGAN: I told you I smelled fruitcake!

MADGE: (Look grateful) You shouldn’t have.

NEIGHBOR: Oh, bite your tongue, it’s my pleasure.

MR CARRIGAN: It looks scrumptious!

NEIGHBOR: Say, Neal and I are going caroling. You care to join?

MADGE: You know we would—

MR CARRIGAN: It’s my back. Darn thing’s giving me fits.

NEIGHBOR: Oh, well, that’s a shame. Oh well, Merry Christmas.

MADGE: And to you too, dear.

NEIGHBOR: Hey, are we still on for bridge tomorrow?

MR CARRIGAN: With bells on!

NEIGHBOR: Yes! Okay, bye!

MR CARRIGAN: Bye-bye.

They smile broad fake smiles. When the NEIGHBOR’s gone, MR CARRIGAN drops the fruitcake and steps on it on the way back to the kitchen.

CUT TO:

MADGE and MR CARRIGAN open the door to the kitchen and hurry inside.

MADGE: Now, where were we?

SAM and DEAN are no longer in their chairs. The CARRIGANs see one of the doors close, and turn around to see the other door close too. SAM and DEAN are each standing behind one of the doors, as the CARRIGANS try to open them. DEAN pulls out a drawer to hold his door closed and goes to help SAM.

DEAN: (Leaning one hand against the door) What do we do now? The evergreen stakes are in the basement!

SAM: Well, we need more evergreen, Dean! (Looks at the Christmas tree) I think I just found us some more. (Looks at large cabinet next to the door) Help me get this.

SAM and DEAN move the cabinet in front of the door and push the Christmas tree over. They break branches from the tree to use as stakes. All is silent when they approach the kitchen door. Suddenly MR CARRIGAN tackles DEAN to the ground. MADGE walks up to SAM.

MADGE: You little thing. (Her face momentarily distorts) I loved that tree.

SAM raises his stake. MADGE hits SAM hard and he crashes into the couch and onto the floor. MR CARRIGAN punches DEAN a number of times in the face. MADGE walks closer to SAM and he hits her with the branches. MADGE is about to attack SAM when he stabs her with the Christmas tree stake.

MR CARRIGAN: (Looks at his wife and screams) Madge!!!

SAM pushes the stake deeper and MADGE groans, while DEAN takes the opportunity and hits MR CARRIGAN with his branches. SAM pushes the stake in further and MADGE falls to the ground, dead. DEAN stabs MR CARRIGAN, who screams in pain, and DEAN pulls it out and stabs him again. MR CARRIGAN lies dead, next to his wife. SAM breathes heavily, while DEAN sighs in relief. They look at the dead bodies.

SAM: Merry Christmas. (Looks at DEAN, smiles briefly and sighs)

The camera focuses on a ball ornament that is still on one of the broken tree branches.

ACT FIVE

FLASHBACK, 1991

INT. MOTEL – NIGHT

It’s snowing outside. SAM is asleep and DEAN shakes him.

DEAN: Sam, wake up! (SAM wakes) Dad was here. Look what he brought.

DEAN looks around at a little Christmas tree, decorated with a few lights.

SAM: Dad was here?

DEAN: Yeah. Look at this. We made a killing.

SAM: (Yawns) Why didn't he try to wake me up?

DEAN: He tried to, like a thousand times.

SAM: He did?

DEAN: (Nods) Yeah. Did I tell you he would give us Christmas, or what? (SAM looks around) Go on, dive in.

SAM jumps out of his bed and hurries to the Christmas tree. He finds two presents wrapped with Christmas- themed gift wrap. One of them has green shiny bow. SAM sits on the couch and unwraps his first gift. DEAN sits on the other end of the couch and watches, excitedly.

DEAN: (Smiles) What is it?

SAM: Sapphire Barbie.

DEAN: (Chuckles) Dad probably thinks you’re a girl.

SAM: Shut up! (Throws the Barbie onto the ground)

DEAN: Open that one.

SAM opens the other present and finds a cheerleading stick. He looks at DEAN.

SAM: Dad never showed, did he?

DEAN: Yeah, he did, I swear.

SAM: Dean…. Where’d you get all this stuff?

DEAN realizes he can’t lie anymore and looks down.

DEAN: (sighs) Nice house up the block. (SAM looks away) I swear I didn’t know they were chick presents. (SAM nods) Look, I’m sure Dad would have been here if he could.

SAM: If he’s alive.

DEAN: Don’t say that. Of course he’s alive. He’s Dad.

SAM nods and DEAN looks sad. SAM takes the present he wrapped from the pocket of a jacket that is lying over the arm of the couch. He holds it out to DEAN.

SAM: Here, take this.

DEAN: No. No, that’s for Dad.

SAM: Dad lied to me. I want you to have it.

SAM continues to hold out the gift. DEAN looks at it and at SAM.

DEAN: You sure?

SAM: (Nods) I’m sure.

DEAN looks at the gift again and takes it. He unwraps the gift, which is a gold amulet on a black string.

DEAN: Thank you, Sam. I–I love it.

DEAN puts on the necklace. SAM nods.

The flashback ends.

INT. MOTEL – NIGHT

SAM looks touched with his own memory. Ella Fitzgerald’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” plays as DEAN walks into the room. The camera focuses on the necklace SAM gave him in 1991. He looks surprised because SAM has decorated the room with a Christmas tree and “Merry Christmas” sign.

DEAN: Hey! You get the beer? (Holding a cup of eggnog)

DEAN: (Looks kind of amazed) What’s all this? (Looks at the decorations in the room)

SAM: What do you think it is? It’s – it’s Christmas.

DEAN looks at SAM, who lets out a deep breath.

DEAN: What made you change your mind?

SAM: (Doesn’t answer) Here, uh ... try the eggnog. (Gives him a cup) Let me know if it needs some more kick. (He holds out a bottle of whiskey)

DEAN sips it, coughs, and looks surprised at the taste.

DEAN: No, we’re good.

SAM: (Happy) Yeah?

DEAN: (Smiling) Yeah.

When SAM looks away, DEAN changes his expression, like it tastes toxic.

SAM: Good. Well, uh, have a seat. Let’s do… Christmas stuff, or whatever.

DEAN looks at the Christmas tree, which is decorated with lights and car air fresheners.

DEAN: (Nods, happy) All right, first things first. (SAM sits on the couch and DEAN pulls up a chair. He takes two packages wrapped in brown paper from a plastic bag and holds them out to SAM) Merry Christmas, Sam.

SAM: (smiling, takes the gifts) Where’d you get these?

DEAN: Someplace special. (SAM looks at him) The gas mart down the street (SAM laughs) Open them up.

SAM: Well, great minds think alike, Dean. (SAM reaches under the couch for two packages wrapped in newspaper, which he gives to DEAN)

DEAN: (Surprised) Really? (Takes the gifts)

SAM: There you go.

DEAN: Come on.

SAM opens his first gift, which is two porn magazines.

SAM: (Laughs) Skin mags! (DEAN nods, satisfied with SAM’s reaction) and… (opens the other gift) Shaving cream.

DEAN: You like?

SAM: (Smiles) Yeah. Yeah. (Nods)

It’s DEAN’s turn to open his presents. He chuckles and unwrap the gifts.

DEAN: Look at this. (He lifts his presents, it’s a candy bar and a bottle of oil) Fuel for me and fuel for my baby. (SAM nods) These are awesome. Tthanks.

SAM: Good. (Suddenly there’s a bit of sadness in his face)

DEAN: (Lifts his glass of eggnog) Merry Christmas, bro.

SAM: Yeah. Yeah. (Lift his eggnog and makes a toast with DEAN’s glass) Here, Merry Christmas.

SAM and DEAN are silent, knowing that this could be their last Christmas together. They each take a drink of their eggnog and DEAN whistles softly at the taste.

SAM: Hey, Dean, y–. (SAM looks sad and about to say something, but he hesitates, then sighs and looks at DEAN again) Do you feel like watching the game?

DEAN: (Smiles in relief) Absolutely.

SAM: (Nods) All right.

SAM stands up and turns on the TV. They watch the winter football game. SAM glances at DEAN and DEAN smiles. He glances at SAM and takes another drink of his eggnog. The camera switches to the outside of the room and we see DEAN and SAM through the window, sharing their Christmas moment, with a large picture of a farm in a snowy field in the background. It’s snowing outside. The camera pans out and we see Christmas lights reflected in the paint of the IMPALA, which is parked outside the room.

THE END.