Painfully Heterosexual

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Painfully Heterosexual - A song about Dean Winchester was written and performed by Tastyboots




Painfully Heterosexual

You kinky son of a bitch I don’t swing that way

I have trouble dealing with my feelings, I work out all the time, I don’t need no AA meetings
So maybe I cry a little more than the average guy
But can’t you see I'm painfully heterosexual

I drive the most badass car you have ever seen
I only eat things that are manly like triple bacon cheeseburgers and double shots of brandy
So maybe I get mistaken for gay kind of often
But can’t you see I’m painfully heterosexual

I can fix my car or my guns with my eyes closed
I know my way around women, I go to local dives and all the pretty girls are smitten
So maybe I think Dr. Sexy is kind of… well… sexy
But can’t you see I’m painfully heterosexual

Remember that one time I had a threeway
There are two things I know for certain, Bert and Ernie are gay, and I’m not letting you die a virgin
So maybe that wasn’t my very best segue
But can’t you see I’m painfully heterosexual

I’m heterosexual
Come on guys I’m heterosexual Shut up, Sam, I’m heterosexual
Heterosexual

You kinky son of bitch I don’t swing that way
Except maybe on a Friday


– Tastyboots (Andrea)
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